I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I last posted. Time really does fly, huh? Well, so much has happened since then, the main event was me moving to Wellington. Yes, I shifted cities, and it’s not as easy as they portray it in the movies! You don’t just pack up your belongings and move – there are a lot of things to consider and take into account. There’s what to do with your other belongings (the ones you can’t take with you), where to stay, making new contacts / friends … basically – it’s having to re-establish yourself all over again. Others may find shifting places (or cities) a breeze, but not me. I’ve been in Wellington for almost a year (a year on the 17th of June) and I still haven’t taken root. Oh well – I suppose I can’t force matters and some things just take time.
So yes, I’m back to writing again! I’m writing for the web again, as well as blogging (inspired mostly by my mum – who is just learning the joys of WordPress). I stopped writing because I felt that I needed time to get myself acquainted with Wellington – but looking back now, that may have not been the wisest decision I’ve made. Writing is my form of release – it’s my way of shutting down from other matters, because writing requires concentration and you need to be focused. Because I stopped writing, I found myself with so much time on my hands, all my attention veered towards work and work became the all-consuming centre of my life (which shouldn’t be the case). I became harder on myself, and expected more of myself because, that’s all I had. Work. It just became so unhealthy. Someone told me that I should do something to get my mind off work – to find an outlet. I always thought it would be photography (which I love) but I think, it’s about writing.
When i write, I don’t concern myself about taking the perfect picture. I don’t worry about rule of thirds, white balance, sharpness, focal point, and depth of field. I write. That’s it. I write what’s on my mind (of course, not everything, because there are some things that I just can’t share on a public blog. Most of the “serious stuff” can be found in my Journal, which I’ve started writing on again) and all I concern myself with would be grammar and punctuation. I’m not sure if that makes sense but – to me it does.
Make no mistake about it, I still love photography, and I will get back to it soon. I just lost my drive the past few months (to be totally honest, my mojo’s been missing for about a year!) and I think I’ll start small. I’m charging the battery of my point and shoot Canon and, since I have that with me all the time anyway (the Nikon’s just too big and heavy) I’ll take pictures … as many as possible, I’ll just keep shooting until i feel that I am ready to, once again, use the “big gun”.
Meanwhile, I will try to update my other blog (www.mysorefeet.wordpress.com) – so I can get back into the ‘writing’ groove. I have to remind myself that my entries don’t need to be perfect; my photos don’t need to be perfect, because I’m doing all this for my own benefit. I’m not trying to get a good grade or impress anyone. It’s all for me. If other people find the text and the photos interesting – that’s a bonus. But that shouldn’t be the be all and end all of my reason for writing and posting.
So that’s it. That’s where I’m at. There’s so much I’m learning now, about myself and about … everything in general. And I know that there’s still so much for me to discover. It’s just overwhelming. I’m unlearning habits that I’ve carried for several years – learning new ways of looking at and dealing with things. Whew! It’s going to take time but I know, now that I have the awareness that I lacked in the past, that I’ll get there. Hopefully before my next significant birthday.
Hmmm … maybe there is some truth to the old saying that “Life begins at 40”.